Cinderella, Stepfamilies, & Relations Between the Sexes

Cinderella, stepfamilies, and the relations between the sexes

By Denise Noe

The other day I had the pleasure of watching the classic Disney animated film of Cinderella. This got me to thinking about the meanings of the famous fairy tale.

The wicked stepmother became a negative archetype for good reason. Throughout most of human history, childbirth was extremely dangerous. Mothers often died giving birth. Children frequently grew up never knowing their mothers. Those who did know them often lost them when a brother or sister was born. 

Widowers were free to remarry so it was extremely common for children to have stepmothers. Were all stepmothers wicked? Of course not. However, there was an automatic rivalry between the stepmother and the children of the previous wife as they were taking resources that the stepmother would probably want for her own children or for the children she anticipated having. Thus, it was probably not uncommon for a stepmother to be nasty or even actively abusive to her stepchildren and for them to fear and hate her.

In today’s world, death in childbirth has become a rarity thanks to the advances in medical science. This is one of the chief ways in which women have benefited from men’s work.  Marriages are far more likely to be broken by divorce (usually initiated by the wife) than by death.  Courts tend to discriminate in favor of mothers in granting custody.  The result is that our modern-day horror stories tend to focus on the abusive stepfather, who does not have the investment in the child of the biological (or adoptive) father rather than the cruel stepmother.

Perhaps reason Cinderella continues to speak so powerfully is that it underlines a perennial source of tension between females. The self-esteem of girls and women is intimately tied to their appearance so there is a tendency for the less attractive to easily harbor ill will toward the more attractive. Thus, the lovely Cinderella’s persecution by her homely stepsisters rings real through the ages.

Cinderella is rescued from her oppression through her relationship with a man. The fairy tale shows no battling between the sexes, no love-hate relationship between Cinderella and her Prince but a union of pure love. Perhaps the ultimate power of Cinderella lies in its depiction of the connection between men and women as one not fraught with tension but rich with the potential for true harmony.